Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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