I wannas sexs uuuuu
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
