dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
