No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The beer is more important than you right now.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
