Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
you inspire me to be a worse person
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
