sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
she woke up with a sticky ear
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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