I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
