I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Two words: blizzard sex
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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