lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
