I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
