That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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