What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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