I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
