I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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