i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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