Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
whose ass print is on the piano?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
