I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
