? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Randomize
