just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
