Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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