we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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