no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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