Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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