oh god the rape fog is back!
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
