I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
