Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
