He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
