When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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