Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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