xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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