This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
