K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
