we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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