Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
