dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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