guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
