im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
