i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Houston, we have a blender
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
