we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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