New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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