Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
