we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
