rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
