Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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