New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
