with your own penis?
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
jump out the window naked night went bad
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
