Bisexual people are plain selfish.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
