I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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