made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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