I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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