Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
